Irritation.

It was 3am. I needed to pee. As you do, you're half asleep stumbling to the bathroom. I get into the bathroom and something sprays at me and scares the living crap out of me. It's my Mother's fucking 'sense and spray'.
I did not appreciate being scared out of my sleep by something so pansy-like.
She's got them planted all over the house. They are truly one of the most irritating things ever created by man.
What is wrong with good old fashioned canned air freshener? One or two are fine, in respectable places in the house. But every 30 minutes it's ready to sense and spray. You walk in to get something unrelated to having a crap and it's basically telling you "Oh hey, 30 minutes has passed and quite frankly, you smell of shit. Here have some vanilla compressed fragrance on the house."

I'm in the middle of a campaign to get rid of them. Watch this space...

Animals.

I've just received an email from my Auntie regarding reasons (in pictures) why you should always carry a camera.


Check it.

Pretty nifty, huh?

On another topic, I'd like to start becoming more inventive with photography. It's one subject that I can truly appreciate when someone does it with such knowledge and skill. An artist with a camera.

On a sad note, my left eyelid is swollen. I feel like Puff the Magic Dragon. Sexy times. Don't anger me unless you're prepared for my green wings and flaming nostrils.

Excitement.

Just one thing I have to say...



I HAVE TICKETS FOR MUSE AT WEMBLEY! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



I could not be more excited right now. Even though it's in September 2010, I don't care. I'm going to see Muse for christ's sake. I get to be near the Gods.



Ahh, so this is what it feels like to be happy! I have to say; I like it!



















Love you long time, fella's.

Music.

I'm always looking for new music, as this is something of high interest to me.
I'm also happy to recommend music to people aswell, as it feels good inside.

As I'm typing this, I'm listening to one of my new albums of the week; Radio 1's Live Lounge- Volume 4.
Dizzee Rascal is currently booming through my headphones with 'Bonkers'. True to it's name, it really is bonkers. He's decided to cover his own song in a Bluegrass style with him rapping over the top. WHAT?! That really is a mental thing to do, as they are completely opposite genres of music. For those who are unsure of what Bluegrass music is; here's a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEAiBHG5BlM
A Bluegrass version of Eric Clapton's 'Layla'. Could argue it's as good as the original; that's only due to the fact the original gets on my nerves.

All in all, the Live Lounge's are generally good compilations of the 'current' artists in the industry and are kind of worth the money they charge.

If anyone would like to suggest some albums or artists to me, they're more than welcome. Infact, I'll welcome you with open arms. Well...cyber-open arms...(I say this as if people actually read my blog...)

I don't often watch the X Factor; when I do it's because it's forced upon the household. There has been a lot of fuss and disagreement over the contestants 'John and Edward'. At first, I thought it was quite comical that they were getting through when they were shit. It's now turned into a bit of a piss take, as contestants who can actually sing are getting kicked out due to the majority of the public who vote being pikeys, who're still voting for JEDWARD.
C'mon guys, the fun is over now. If these pricks win, you're expected to go out and buy their album and see the little shits on tour. Think about it...

In addition; Nandos now have little handy cocktail sticks for your 'corn-on-the-cob'. Wahey! Say bye-bye to buttery fingers and hello to kids stabbing their eyes out with them.

Junk.

So being a moron, I left a lot of my work 'till the last minute...and the cracks are starting to show.
I'm losing sleep over work that I can't be bothered to do in reasonable time because I can't motivate my sorry ass. Jeez. I NEED to get a grip.

I'm also sick of receiving junk emails. They clog my inbox and I'm pretty sure I've had them blocked...
But this is hotmail, who decided to do maintenance work on my account for an hour...this turned into 2 days. Very annoying. More so, they then deleted some very important emails so I then had to re-email the people, looking like a complete idiot that can't seem to keep their emails organised.

I have a sequencing task to do in Music Tech for the coursework and the chosen song is 'Shopping' by Pet Shop Boys.
I've spent about 3 and a half hours finding a couple of synth sounds. It's driving me insane.
The damage caused by this song...WE'RE SHOPPING repeated over and over again.

I also walked to college today, halfway there it decides to 'bucket-rain'. Fantastic. I'm practically running to school with no coat, or any kind of rain-shielding device. I arrive and all I can say is, there was no point in me showering this morning. Drowned rat, mate.

I also found this, just incase the world loses the plot via the BNP.
http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/leftvright_world.html

I'm currently loving Christoph Niemann's artwork. Check it out, it's abstractly beautiful:
http://www.christophniemann.com/man/bpages/gallery2/gallery2b.html

Post-Hallowe'en.

Hallowe'en: the evening before All Saints' Day; often devoted to pranks played by young people

So I'm unlucky by an hour or so...

Oh well.

We had 1 set of trick or treaters; result! This is probably due to it falling on a Saturday evening, so many parents decide to host parties for their children and their friends. Perhaps they followed this guide... http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/31/halloween-party-tips-children-adults

SORTED!

I also spent the large proportion of the evening playing 'House of the Dead' on the Wii, with real 'pump-action' guns! It's all too much fun.

Hallowe'en is just another excuse for folk to dress up in the sluttiest or stupidest outfit possible and get trollied.

Like our mate, Britney Spears, here;

EWW.

The image of some fat mare in a skimpy, slutty nurse outfit...OH GOD. My vomit from the thought of that would look prettier.

But, all in all, I hope everyone did enjoy their Hallowe'en, whatever they were doing. I wish I was young again; free sweets are the peak of happiness in a child's life.

The apple-bobbing got a bit too dangerous for Brian and Sue...

Costume.

Britain is becoming overhauled by America. I love America but there are some things that we've just got to handle as separate nations.
Blatantly using Hallowe'en as an example, as this is coming up in a couple of days.
Hallowe'en used to be dressing up like vampires and scaring the shit out of the old hag next door but now it's turned into a 'dress in whatever tha fook ya want'. Of course, this has always been the tradition in America.
All I can say is, you can't scare someone in a Snow White outfit?!
And why is it that pretty much all fancy-dress companys that create Hallowe'en costumes for women are slutty costumes? Not all of us have the inability to shut our legs y'know. Just because it's a 'holiday' doesn't mean that you're going to be getting some vagajay anytime soon, mate.

Hallowe'en is fun though. I plan to spend my Hallowe'en with friends and beer at a gig. Lovely.

News.

Ok, a contradiction has been made.
I've just joined a gym.
I lied; I'm not happy about myself. Whoops.

SPIN CLASS=DEATH. Hopefully, these feelings of death will soon decrease as I participate more. Hopefully. Hope...fully...
All I can think is feeling like your legs are literally disembarking from your joints can surely lead to a better me, with 500 fewer calories inside my body.

On a rather brisk change of topic...It seems the BBC are hiring more husky-voiced female reporters...
Is there a new study going around concluding that deeper-voiced women are a massive turn-on? Who knows. Perhaps they forgot to take their oestrogen in the morning? Pete Burns sure did.

Supermarche.

The supermarket; my mortal enemy.

Why are they busy 24/7?!
Screw it; I'm getting my mum to shop online. Obese and satisfied is the future.

Addiction.

I may have to confess an addiction...

to RUBICON.

I know. I should be ashamed, but the fruity delight is too good.

With several flavours.

For multiple refreshment needs.

I recommend Guava and Passionfruit.

On another, slightly pessimistic note, my internet is so f***ing slow! It's driving me to the point of insanity at times. I mean, c'mon, who's going to be hogging the bandwidth at 12:30am?! NOBODY. Piece of utter, moronic tripe.

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY HIP-HOP!

I've been thinking. It's October. October. October. Shit, it's October and I've done nothing with my life. Maybe that's a little exaggerated, but I haven't done much that's for certain.

Today, in Music Tech, I finally learnt how to set-up a studio session, enabling me to be able to record. Fun times! I now appreciate technicalities in life.

Yesterday, I emailed a lecturer at Manchester University, regarding some information about a course. She replied; with the worst response ever! It was a waste of an email. I don't even think she read the email I sent properly. I asked her about the year abroad you can go on as part of the degree, what the fees are for this year and if there is any funding available towards it. She replied with 'Oh, I'm on leave till next Monday, so I won't be able to answer your response until then, but our course is full and we don't take any transfers from other degrees.'

WHAT THE HELL. I didn't even state that I was taking a degree, let alone transferring. STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID MUUUUUUUUUUUUFFIN.

So I've now got to wait for a response from her inferior bitch, that I probably won't receive for a fair while.

SO...I guarantee that was a waste of time. Sorry. I told you nothing of any decent context goes on in my life. Maybe prettier pictures would resolve this...

Coffee.

As I was beginning to type this, I managed to pull the chain, that is sewn into my top, off it completely. GOOD ONE.

I've had a pretty boring week. College. Some more college.

Kind of getting to grips with the workload; really can't be arsed at times.

I'm currently trying to write a monologue on Iago, but in a present day context. It's harder than I thought it was going to be. So a long night probably entails for me accompanied by the sweet molecule of caffeine.

On another note, check out Newton Faulkner's new album. It's fairly catchy.

I've also been thinking I need to hit the gym again. I'm starting to rival "The Michelin Man".

There I am, oh curvatious one.

I was out shopping with the family today. I dared to embark upon entering the cattle ranch named Primark. Well, cattle ranch for pikeys. I'd managed to run to every item I needed and successfully went towards the till. On urging to battle through the numerous Vicky Pollard's to the register, a child let out an almighty squawk. The sound penetrated the ear drums like a knife to butter. If there's one thing I hate, it's the noise of a screaming brat. It got so bad, that I almost punched the vile thing. If you can't control it, then you should learn how to control the opening and closing of your legs!

(I'm new to adding pictures, so please excuse the very bad layout of them; they annoyed me with their own way of positioning themselves.) Grr.

I'll try to keep updating this more frequently; not that my life is of

a thrilling nature anyway.

WORD OF THE WEEK (A): Alacrity n liveliness; eagerness

Day One.

This is the first time I've blogged. EVER. So excuse my lack of knowledge or fancy layout.
Today has been a rather average Sunday. Arose from my pit at the usual time, slaved over some work but then the 'average' part changed.
It was my Auntie's birthday bash at her house at lunchtime, and of course, I was dragged to make an appearance. I don't mind the old family gatherings, as long as it's family and folks I actually talk to. When I arrived, I was completely baffled by the number of people I didn't know and of course this leads to me getting awfully nervous and a tad perspired. After many of the same questions of 'How are you?', 'How is school?', 'What year are you in again?' and 'Aren't you tall?!', I'm finally set free and proceed to the lavishly layed-out buffet spread.
I'm one to enjoy my food, but there was barely anything I liked. This disappointed me to a great degree, as I'd even skipped breakfast and snacking for this. All the food did look lovely, and I'm sure it all tasted delightful, but being fussy I decided to stick with chicken breast in a sun-dried tomato sauce and a very British pork and apple sandwich. Oh, and a hint of coleslaw to satisfy my 'veggie' needs.
Throughout my time there, I got the same suggestion of 'So Laura, have you ever thought about joining the RAF or the Navy?' WHAT. ERR NOO. Have you seen me?! I don't think they're really looking for whales to throw themselves over logs in an ungraceful, dissatisfying fashion. If I were a couple of dress sizes smaller, I'd consider it, but I'm too damn lazy.
I never knew my family were so keen in suggesting I join the 'Physical Forces'. There must be a message in this...
It's probably due to the fact that my cousin Claire has just graduated from Durham and is now in the RAF, doing some systems weaponry thing. But she's very skinny and very able in everything she does and is put forward to do, whereas I am more like a hippo on opium. Not a very good combo.
In the end, I suppose the day wasn't too bad. I did get to see family members that I don't often see, which is nice.
Today has made me think and appreciate my muffin-top self, knowing that I'll be damn happy sat in my timps chair playing Stravinsky, Mozart, Schubert, Rachmaninov and Co...